The A word, our private struggle

We have been quietly fighting a battle in our home.

keeping it to ourselves.

Struggling thru.

Not because we are ashamed, but we were hoping for real answers before people shared their opinions

Just Waiting to see daylight.

But it seems now daylight, any kind of real answers are still months and months away.

Our sweet Kier has some noticeable delays. We went into this questioning her speech development. Those questions lead us tomore tests and then to people throwing around the A word. Autism. and that word lead us to BIG centers with people who said no, and to another who said well yes, maybe and its been an endless circle of yes and no and specialists. Each one leaving us with more questions and no answers. All we know right now is we dont know.

As a mother I want to scream. Waiting lists. Hoop jumping. Answering the same questions over and over and over. Frustrated doesnt even begin to describe it. I keep hoping the next appointment will be with someone who has a real answer, and if not an answer. A plan. An idea. Anything to help us help her navigate this world better. I want answers. I wanted them yesterday. But this is definetly going to be a game of endurance. Thankfully I am well prepared. When i look in that sweet perfect face, I know there is no end to the fight in me.

As I fight for my child, I have to battle the reality that she is not "normal", the idea that i did something wrong, the guilt. its not been easy. There are tears that I cannot explain, and anger and more questions. What could i do differently, what should I have done differently. why why why. But I know why...I was given this life because I am strong enough to live it. Alot of faith has been placed in me. 4 daughters. as if that challenge was not enough, now this. Alright then. Game on.

Happy 2nd Birthday Kieryn Kingsleigh!!!

2 short years ago a tiny 10lb 13oz angel joined our family... Kieryn Kingsleigh, you are the kindest, sweetest, most caring lil girl. We love you so much!!

Happy Birthday Kier Bear!!!!!!!

The Sweetest Sounds

Everyday, after I put Kier and Adysen down for their afternoon nap I linger outside their room to listen. They always "talk" to each other. I wonder what they are saying since neither one of them is really talking yet. But its obvious they understand each other because they laugh and giggle and respond to one another. I always hear how twins are extra close...I have to wonder if the same is true of Irish twins. Although all my girlies are close, theirs seems to be the closest bond.

We are experiencing technical difficuulties....

You would think that since I am the wife of a computer genius I would never have computer problems...... WRONG...way way wrong.

I dunno what I did to my laptop, but it isnt very happy with me....

BUT I did fight with it enough to share this with you....

KIERYN STARTED WALKING!!!!!!!!

Happy 1st Birthday Kieryn Kingsleigh

A year ago you awoke me in the middle of the night to let me know you were FINALLY (4 days AFTER your due date) ready to meet us! and barely 4 hours later we laid eyes on all 10lbs 13oz of you!!!

Today,you are a year old, a big sister, and the sweetest, cuddliest, most easy going lil angel I could have dreamed of!

Happy 1st Birthday Kieryn Kingsleigh, we love you soooo much!!!

Super Bowl Sunday...

We here at Team Fultz have never been big on Super Bowl parties, probably because we like to watch the game in our sweats. Every sunday of the season we celebrate Football Sundays, we hang out together, eat in and enjoy the time together. Super Bowl Sunday isnt much different. We had Daddy's awesome bacon avocado cheeseburgers and made cupcakes. Great Day. My favorite kind of day.

and... It was Kier's 1st SuperBowl!!!



YUMMMMMMMMMM.....


and even more yuuuummmmmmmmmmm......